The older I get, the more often I realize I'm wrong about things. Have you ever heard someone say, "I had her number before I'd even met her."? I mean honestly what does that even mean, really? It means you judged her before you even knew her. This kind of behavior drives me crazy because I've always believed that every single person is like an onion with many many layers that make them who they are.
Have you ever heard the saying, "don't judge someone's story by the chapter you walked in on?" It's eloquently put and precisely my point. All people have pasts. They've fought battles you know nothing about. There is no human out there that is "simple" or "one-dimensional." No matter what image they might project, or what image you choose to take note of... there is always, always, always more to that story. Are you looking for reasons to dislike people? Ask yourself that question... Or are you looking for reasons to like them? The answer to those questions clearly says more about you than them. That's actually the main reason why I think I love people so much. I love kids for that very reason. There is not a single child out there that is unlovable- and I've taught middle school for almost 10 years as well as pre-k for 4 years! I've met a lot of kids y'all. Teachers know that you generally begin to love your students as you get to know them. As you peel back the layers and learn about their quirks, insecurities, weaknesses, strengths, and home situation. All of that information plays a role in getting to know your students. And why is that important when you are a middle school math teacher and have 130 students on your roster?? It's important because there is no way that a teacher can meet a child's academic needs without taking into consideration the "whole" child. And while we may never know every layer of every onion sitting in every desk, we do our best because it matters. I had students that knew every single answer, yet never raised their hand because they were petrified of speaking in front of others- I knew to give them a thumbs up or write an encouraging note on their test. I had students that struggled with every single concept yet wanted so badly to be called on and show their peers they could do it- I knew to be certain they had it correct before I called on them- they needed their moment to shine and I had to provide that. I had several kids that struggled with anxiety and even did things like pull out their eyebrow hairs and eyelashes during class or a test. I knew to hand them the hall pass and let them take a moment to breathe. I knew the look in my middle schoolers' eyes when they were fighting back tears and I knew better than to call attention to it and instead check in with them later without an audience. I knew which kids would rather die than enter the lunch room and I allowed them to work and eat in my classroom with a friend if they needed that. I taught middle school math in many inclusion classes with students that had special needs, some more obvious than others. But I helped to model inclusiveness and wanted to demonstrate the truth that every. person. matters. Every child has a place here in my classroom and out in that big world. I had an autistic student with ocd tendencies that needed to flip the lights on and off before we began class and I supported her need to do that. We all did. Nobody laughed. It was something she needed to do. I had another autistic student that felt most at ease learning from under his desk. I made sure to give him a front row seat so that he had a clear view of the board from under his desk. That is what he needed. I needed to know my kids to reach them, and I needed to reach them if I had any hopes of teaching them. I have a soft gooey heart for kids and people in general. But you want to know a secret? Adults are really just big-sized kids. If you care to know someone... if you have to work with them or interact with them on a regular basis... Make a habit of asking questions. Make a habit of listening to them, sometimes you will hear more than just what they are saying to you. Maybe you will realize that the truth is, there is a whole lot of gray in this world. You might realize that you are not always right and maybe if you really listen...you might even learn something. Remember, we all see the world as WE are, not as IT actually is. Read that again. Every thing that happens to you is conceptualized through your brain's filter. You are not ever seeing things fully as they are, but as you have "sorted them out" to be and just because you percieve a person a certain way, does not make it so. In 2021, I challenge you to rethink some of those people you dismissed as " too snobby," " too unrelatable," " too spoiled," " too weird," " too dumb," or "too-fill-in-the-blank" because maybe in-fact YOU are just a bit "too... judgy"... Perhaps we can all stand to do a little less "sorting" of people and little more getting to know them.
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