Do you ever notice that you often find yourself asking "What have you done for me lately?" cue Janet, because you can certainly list off at least 2 dozen things you have done lately for your spouse, am I right? We don't mean to keep score, but it's hard not to sometimes. Especially when you are exhausted after a looooong day, you know those days you think you might actually… Snap. Crackle. Pop?!
Well, here's the thing... days like that... were just not meant for having a friendly little "sit down chat" about making some "changes around here." You know what I'm saying? On days like that, you are just asking for an argument when you kick off the conversation with that list. So just this once, save it. Hold your tongue on days like that. Not because you shouldn't express your feelings, but because you will get nowhere fast by being on the attack.
Instead, wait for one of those evenings when you have the kids down to sleep and you two are enjoying a nice Get Happy Margarita. Approach the conversation with a compliment about how you appreciate something they HAVE done lately (come on, you can think of something, right?) Then, gently lay it out there. Like, "I was just thinking that it would help me so much if you could start unloading the dishwasher in the morning before you leave for work." You will be surprised by how well that might actually go over when the timing is right.
And we all can relate right? I mean, on a reeeally bad day when you want to respond to every question with a middle finger, you might not be so open to your spouse’s suggestions either, yes? So the moral of the story is that while you may not ever be harmonizing Kumbaya during one of these “chat” sessions, you can definitely accomplish more if your timing is right.
What are your relationship tips for having those dreaded "chats"? What works? What doesn't? We need your tips! Please share below!
Let me start by saying, I do not claim to be a relationship expert and my husband and my relationship is not perfect. But, we have been through a lot together during our seven years of marriage. We have experienced three moves to three different cities, several different jobs, infertility, and the list goes on. But through it all, we have maintained our love and I mostly credit it to our ability to keep our sense of humor through it all. You may not agree with me, but I believe that my relationship with my husband is more important than my relationship with my child. If my husband and I are not providing a firm foundation together, how can we expect to raise a happy, healthy child? Hopefully we all know by now that all the money and possessions in the world will never make you happy if your heart is not at peace, and part of finding that peace, is cultivating a healthy relationship with your spouse.
I just want to add, that although I refer to my “husband”, my love and relationship advice is non-gender specific. It will be applicable to all romantic adult relationships because in my opinion, LOVE is LOVE!